I'm the hero of this story

oomshi:

cayleeanthonysmom:

oomshi:

My life goal is to have enough $100 bills that fill a bathtub & I want to bathe in my glory & success

my life goal is to sneeze with out farting

I think we’re on two different paths in life

(Source: like-ya, via metaphorical---cigarettes)

leezzee:

gallifreyangurl:

dinosaurs-on-wheels:

hoechln:

i was going to make a list of people that annoy me, but it was too long so I decided to post a pic instead. 

omg i’m in the same photo as tom hiddleston

ugh, my hair looks terrible 

can we do it again i blinked

(via metaphorical---cigarettes)

bealeavable:

walk into the club like what up im underage

(via metaphorical---cigarettes)

lampsarepeopletoo:

they call me macklemore in math class because im like

what what what what what

what what what what what what what

what what what what

(via dresseduplikehipsters)

lynzave:

today these kids were talking and being really rude during a test so I finally fulfilled my dream of telling them off by yelling “I AM FAILING THIS CLASS AND YOU DILDOS AREN’T HELPING MY SITUATION, LET ME TAKE MY TEST” and it went dead silent for like two seconds and one person snickered and the teacher said “don’t you dare laugh, she’s absolutely right”

I’ve never had a school official back me up after calling someone a dildo.

(via oh-my-ghosh)